It sucks. I dont think Tom remembers anything from last night.  He might, I haven't asked him yet. Im still so excited about last night! I think this is the happiest I've been in a long time(maybe even happier than when Tom gave my eyeliner back).  I have to go talk to Tom, if I dont I think I'll be able to call myself clinically insane. "Hey Tom...we gotta talk again..." I said sort of slyly so Gustav and Georg couldn't possibly understand what I was talking about.

"Ja I remember last night." He said not even waiting for me to finish.

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THAT!?" I yelled.

"Do what, answer your girlish questions?" He whispered because I knew what was coming next from him. A "sneaky" lovers remark. "It's OK Bill. I dont mind them, I actually find them kinda cute." He whispered in my ear. I told you a lovers remark was coming.

"Ja well I dont find it 'cute' that I cant even finish a frickin' question or statement without YOU finishing it first." I was trying to sound angry. The truth is that I cant sound really angry when I'm with him. He has this weird 'feeling' over me that makes me retreat in my shell and be the girl in our relationship. I dont appreciate it but if thats the way it has to be then so be it.

"O breathe Bill. It's not my fault you talk in your sleep, leave your journal out, or ask questions that you leave open...when you leave questions open I think you want me to finish 'em." He said sounding kind of annoyed.

"I am breathing. If I wasn't I'd be like your brain...dead.  Don't finish my sentences anymore." I left the room leaving him sort of in shock of how hostile he thought I had been. That night I lied awake in my bed for hours thinking about Tom.  I wasn't sure if his remark this morning about my "girlish" questions being kinda cute was from his hangover or he really meant it. It hadn't occured to me to ask him because I thought he would come find me to talk to me about life, OUR life.  I don't know what's gotten into the two of us lately but I'll tell you I wasn't uderstanding it.


When I woke up I found Tom standing over me. He looked like he expected me to say sorry for something. "What do you want?" I asked rolling over onto my side to avoid looking at him.

"Where is it Bill?" He asked rudely.

"I wish I could say I knew what you were talking about, but I don't"

"Don't do this to me Bill. Where's my hat dad gave me last year?"

"I have no idea. Why don't you ask the girl you stood up 2 nights ago. I'm almost positive you left it on her head."

"Bullshit. I never let them wear my hats. I wear them all night long." He said obviously trying to remember where he put it. "O. Well I'm sorry I blamed you." He put his head down and walked out of our room.  Instictively I followed.

"Where are you going!?" I yelled.

"Ummmm...to go find my hat remember?"

"Did you already ask Georg and Gustav?"

"Ja. You were the last person I asked. I didn't want you to think I was blaming you first."

"O well go look in the cupboard above the stove. I think I saw you put something in there the other night while you were on your drunken rampage."

"Ok I'll go look there. Danke!"  Tom said and ran. The only other time I've seen him run like that is when a girl he's been eyeing shows him her room key. "Bill! You rock! I found it!"

"Well I'm glad for you. Now I'm going back to bed it's only 9:00...too early to even be thinking about getting up. Nacht or Morgan...whichever works for you." I went back to bed. But after I walk a little bit its all downhill for me to even think about going back to bed. Tom knew that.

"Ha. I know you can't go back to sleep. You've walked around to much. My plan worked out alright." He said rubbing his head.

"What do you mean 'your plan'" I asked going into the bathroom to get ready for my shower.

"O come on Bill. You don't think I'd really lose my favourite hat do you? Of course not. I wanted you to get your ass out of bed so we can practice for that concert we have tonight. Where is it? O Tom where is it? O ja...IN MAGDEBURG! Our hometown if you don't remember." He said pretending to give a shit about the concert when all he cared about was the girls.

"Ja ja...I'll practice when I want to practice. Now let me at least TRY to go back to bed. You don't want me to be bitchy today." I said and again walked away.

"Whatever. I'm gonna go take a shower if you're not. Unless you want to...o nevermind you wouldnt be interested anyways. Go back to bed." He said walking into the bathroom.

"Tom you know I hate it when you do that to me. What do you want me to do?" I asked inching my way towards the bathroom door.

"You wanna go to the bar afterwards?" Tom yelled.

"You honestly don't think you've had enough beer for one millenium?"

"I wasn't talking about me getting loose...I was talking about you."

"No thanks. I think I'll be loose after I take my shower so can you hurry up?"

"I'll move as fast as I feel like it. Got a problem with that?"

"Nein. Take your time." I said obviously annoyed. He really annoys me when he does that. When we were in school, he used to get up later than me. I got up early so I could do my hair, make-up, and well look the way I did. He would get up and go straight in the bathroom knowing that I got up early to get first dibs on it. I wouldn't have minded if he took like 3 minutes, but he took almost 10! All he had to do was put his dreads up and put his clothes on. O and he had to put on his hat which took 30 seconds. "Tom I'm gonna be honest...don't take your time, HURRY UP!"

"A'ight...I'll move my ass."

"Danke Shon!"

"Well seeing as in I have to move quickly I can't exactly tell you what I was going to."

"What in the hell were you gonna tell me?"

"I was gonna tell you that every single thing I said in did was the truth. I do love you...maybe more than necessary."

"Well good, cos I thought I was the only onewho loved me." I yelled to him jokingly. "I'm just kiddin'. I love too Tom. Maybe more than necessary. But I think all love is necessary, no matter who it's for." Well now that I know that Tom feels the same I can sleep better at night. I can also try to figure out how to lie to everyone we care about. Georg and Gustav I think are going to be harder to lie to because they're with us all day. Mum and Dad should be no problem. Tom of course is going to have to teach me how to lie. I'm officially going back to bed to let this all go over in my head.  

"Gute Nacht Tom."